Disclaimer: I am not a medical practitioner by any stretch of the imagination – merely an individual with an interest in my own physical well-being. Please talk to a qualified person if you have any serious medical conditions.
I was at the doctor’s this past Monday for a follow-up and discussion of my blood work.
According to the laboratory, all my hormones are at normal levels. That includes Cortisol, Thyroid and Estrogen. What that means in practice, is that my unhappiness is more emotional than physical. My blood pressure is also under control with the new medication. Good. But that also means that I need to work on getting ME in top shape, both physically and emotionally. I have no intention of settling for “normal” if “optimal” is an option!
I have had some time to think on the long walk back to work, and made some decisions. Not all of them are radical, but the ones that are, are going to shake everyone around me’s world.
First off, I have decided to go back on a low-carbohydrate, medium protein diet. Diet as in “what one eats in general”, not “what one starves on to lose some weight”. I have come to the realization that I tend to be an emotional eater. I starve myself, only to binge on sugary eats. Sugar is just as addictive as, if not more than, cocaine. That means that I would need to take back control over what I put in my mouth, by either growing and preserving my food myself or by buying good, clean, organic food from vendors that I trust. (I have a feeling that a huge homestead kitchen might be part of my life very, very soon.)
Secondly, I need to get more active. Not by doing mindless and boring exercise in a gym, but by going for some long walks and maybe even by opting for a bicycle instead of a car. (A cargo trike might solve some problems where grocery space is concerned.) Dancing should be fun, too, once I get over my fear of what others might think. Add some active hobbies such as gardening and treasure hunting and we’re definitely in business!
Thirdly, I need to control what goes into my mind. If necessary, I think I shall be seeing a good psychologist. I am not interested in a “quick fix”, but I want to learn how to break thought patterns effectively and permanently. Especially negative thought patterns such as the ones I experience on a much too regular basis. That means that I probably would have to break my social media habit into teeny tiny bits and stop getting news feeds altogether. Even if Donald Trump makes American politics so very, very entertaining. (For the record, I am not American!)
Number four, I need an active social life. I need to add some friendlies to my circle, so that I have people I can do stuff with. All the same, I have been badly burnt in the past, so I shall have to be extremely careful who I let into my life. That doesn’t mean, however, that I can’t have some grown-up fun every once in a while. Cabin Fever is a real thing. And it’s potentially deadly (to everyone around me!).
Lastly, I shall need an alternative income to the same value as or greater than my current salary. It’s not much. About US $1100.00. That said, it’s a pretty good salary by South African Standards and comes with some perks, too. (On second thought, I may be able to cut down on most of my expenses if I grow my own food, cut down on snacks and don’t use petrol for transport.)
I plan to monetize this blog, but even without that, I can’t even begin to consider leaving my job without a safety net in place. For the record, I don’t plan to return to salaried employment once I resign this position. The Bible says one cannot serve two bosses at the same time and I want to give my Permaculture endeavor as much attention as it takes.
Even if it fails spectacularly, I would have learnt something in the process, and the one person who has always told me that I won’t ever make a success of business died in 2000! That’s almost 20 years ago now. Time to prove him wrong once and for all!
(Finding alternatives to formal employment is a topic worthy of its own blog post, so I shall not be expanding into that any further.)
The point is that even if I want to prove everyone else wrong, no effort from my side will ever achieve the desired results if I don’t do it to ultimately benefit ME and better MY life. It’s selfish in that way, but unfortunately most change starts with oneself. I cannot expect everything else to be different if I keep carrying on in the “same old” ways in the “same old” directions.